If I Acted Out My Inner Maleficent, Life Would Be More Fun!


The other day I broke my leather backpack purse strap so I was temporarily carrying around a regular backpack until I could replace it.  As I stood in the store, backpack snug over my shoulders, a little kid, probably about 5, curiously fidgeted about next his mom at the end of the aisle.

I preoccupy myself and begin looking at stuff as he piers down the aisle at me and says to his mom “Why does she have a backpack on?

His mom says “That’s her purse honey.

The little boy stares and says again “Is she goin’ somewheres?

and the mom says “I don’t think so honey.

The mom continues to look at stuff and the boy comes back around past me, looks up at me, then back to his mom again. “But why she gotta have a backpack?” he asks again. At this point he’s obviously very intrigued and mom just isn’t giving him a good answer. The mom repeats again “Because that’s her purse. She wants to.

I was going through one of those days. Yes, one of those “anxiety, moody, cloudy” days when you just feel faded and worn. My mid-life hormones were nipping me in the ass and I was discombobulated all day. I sigh and walk towards the end of the aisle where the boy and his mom are at. She has her back to me and the boy is holding her hand as he watches me walk by …

My brain begins to tap into the kid’s curiosity about my backpack and I play along.

I give him this evil look and grip my backpack tight as if I were hiding something … something he is very curious about. I can sense his curiosity is filling with fear and his eyes widen. He starts backing away and hiding behind his mom.

Do you know how hard it was for me not to lean over and whisper to the little boy in my most evil “Maleficent” voice: 

“I carry little boys in here that ask too many questions about my backpack. MUHAHAHAHA!” Let the lightening storms begin!

Ahhh the trill of Maleficent’s laughter fills the sky and I am whole once again … my work here is done!

My Psychiatrist did tell me to let my mind just wander sometimes when I’m not feeling well, so this is what happens!

Of note, no humans, mini-humans, backpacks, or kittens were harmed during my hormonal mid-life moment. All is well now.


3 Comments Add yours

  1. So thankful you didn’t act on your desire else you have spooked the boy for life..haha

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kat says:

    Lol I know right? And imagine how my own kids have had to deal with my sense of humor lol!!


  3. Interesting! Thanks for sharing!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s